You Are An Actor: The Performance You Didn't Know You're In

Could you picture your daily interactions as performances on a grand stage?

Whether you're pouring your heart out to a friend, helping an elderly person, or simply ordering a meal, you're constantly playing a role—a different one in each setting.

In Erving Goffman's The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life, he reveals the invisible scripts we all follow.

1. Life as a Stage

In his book, Goffman compares our social lives to a stage. We are all actors, and every interaction is a performance. We carefully decide how we want others to see us.

2. Front Stage vs. Back Stage

Front Stage:

This is where the world sees us—the streets, schools, restaurants, offices, etc.

Here, we act in a "civilized" way that makes us acceptable to those we come in contact with.

Back Stage:

This is the place where we let our guard down. It’s where we allow ourselves to be authentic, with no one to impress.

For most of us, this could be our home or room—unless we have visitors over.

3. The Art of Impression Management

This is the process by which individuals determine how to present themselves to others.

This involves selecting proper clothing for specific occasions, adopting appropriate behaviors, and choosing the right tone and manner of speech.

4. Roles and Scripts

You likely have a subconscious list of phrases and a role you play with certain people—your parents, teachers, friends, etc.

I do too.

Everyone does.

This is how we survive and thrive socially. We adapt our behavior and language to fit into whatever social situation we find ourselves in.

5. Failing in Performances

Of course, like on a real stage, there are bound to be slip-ups. We might forget our lines or not even be aware of the role we’re meant to play in a new environment.

In such cases, we experience embarrassment, and our social "performance" falters.

Losing face is something we all dread—it’s a moment where our social image crumbles (or has the potential to do so), leaving us exposed.

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Just observe yourself and those around you:

Do we behave in the same way everywhere, or do we put on our best behavior in public?

Think about it.

I know this concept of having different social faces can be strange to some people and may even seem inauthentic.

The truth is, this is how we're wired to behave as human beings, and it's essential for our survival. It's how we thrive wherever we find ourselves.

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